


You Were My Mother Too

by Wolfcry22



Series: Shame [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alive Mary Winchester, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel is Protective of Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Takes Care of Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester is Protective of Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Drunk John Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, John Winchester Bashing, Mary Winchester Bashing, Overprotective Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25953799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfcry22/pseuds/Wolfcry22
Summary: Once Mary comes back Dean can’t help but be bitter when she speaks about starting over with Sam. He lets her know the Hell that he and Sam have been through (based on a scene from the TV show Shameless)
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, John Winchester/Mary Winchester
Series: Shame [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883236
Kudos: 164





	You Were My Mother Too

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of my Supernatural AU based off of Shameless scenes. This is one that I’ve wanted to write for a while and wasn’t quite sure how to do so. This will definitely be very AU especially because we got Dean confronting (sort of) Mary. I really waned him to lay into her and he was fairly tame if you ask me. I understand why he was like that, but I think this scene in Shameless was something that I wanted to see from Dean with Sam being mostly quiet through the whole encounter. I know why Mary did what she did, but I still wanted to show the loss that Dean and Sam felt for the fact that she wasn’t there and John not being the best father. It’s just my own interpretation of it of what could’ve happened. And because I can’t leave out my favorite angel, I’m going to put him in it too. So, I hope you guys enjoy it, especially for fans of both shows. You don’t have to watch Shameless to read and enjoy these stories if you so choose. Based on the scene from Shameless Season 1 Episode 9. 
> 
> Warning for strong language, implied/referenced neglect, and possibly triggering situations. Slight Destiel depending on how you read it.

Dean stood rigid, anger coursing through his veins like magma in a volcano. His jaw was clenched so tightly that he was prepared for it to snap off. His hands were clutched at fists as his side, longing to strike something to try and release some of that rage that bound him. Unfortunately, the list of things he could unleash it on was relatively low. He would succeed nothing by lashing out physically; he would have to use his words for this one.

“Why are you here, Mary,” Dean growled, forest green eyes boring into the women that he didn’t recognize standing in front of him. Sure, he knew her features and her voice, but that was all. She wasn’t the same women that used to tuck him into bed or read him stories. She was a stranger and would be treated as such.

Mary blinked her eyes slowly, confused at hearing Dean say her name instead of what she was to him. She attempted to break away from his steadfast gaze to look to her youngest, who was sitting at Dean’s right while Dean stood beside him. Sam was deliberately looking at his hands on the table instead of his mother or Dean.

“I wanted to make amends and even if it’s too late for you, Dean, I want to try with Sam,” Mary replied hopefully.

Dean lifted a finger in her direction. Fury made it impossible for him to hold it straight out without his hand shaking. “You don’t get to abandon your kids and then show up one day to take your pick out of the litter!”

Dean could practically hear his father’s voice in his ears even though he wasn’t there.

‘Now, that’s not fair. Your mother’s made mistakes, but she’s here now. That’s got to count for something.’

‘Shut up, John,’ Dean thought back bitterly. So much resentment was churning inside of him that it was making it difficult for him to think. Words became lost in his mind and he feared not being able to truly express what he felt. He would only have one chance to fully get this right and have Mary hear him. It would loose it’s impact if he had to explain himself all over again.

“This isn’t about me,” Dean spat, looking back to Mary. “This is about you. This is about what you didn’t do. It’s about what I did. And you know what? I did a fucking great job.”

Dean noticed how Mary flinched at his use of his language and he felt a smug note of pride rise inside of him. ‘You don’t get to parent me after not being here for the past 33 years. I’m out of your control and there’s nothing you can do about it.’

Dean gestured toward Sam. “Sam was brilliant at school, no matter where we went. He was also on time and never missed unless he had to. He was in AP classes that I worked my ass off to afford. Sam was top of his class; he set the curve! He scored a full ride to Stanford and studied Pre-Law. Not only that, but Sam is kind, compassionate, and patient....which are all things that no one in this family is.”

Sam looked up to Dean, feeling protectiveness rise inside of him for the one that had raised him. “Dean is smarter than he gives himself credit for.”

“Sammy—“ Dean began.

Sam waved him off. “No, he is. He was counting cards at blackjack the very first time he learned how to play. He rebuilt the Impala part by part and made his own EMF reader out of a Walkman. He would’ve been brilliant at college if Dad didn’t force him into hunting and taking care of me.”

Dean hadn’t expected Sam to say those things about him. He hadn’t even thought that Sam had paid attention to that sort of stuff. It made him feel even more pride at the man that Sam had become. He hoped that he had a little to do with how Sam had turned out.

“And you know what, we did it all, no thanks to you because you weren’t here!” Dean’s voice rose to an angry shout. “Dad was usually too drunk out of his mind thanks to the booze or revenge quest because he lost you, and I had to do everything to keep Sam safe! I made sure that he was fed, cared for, and protected. I did that! Me! On my own with almost no help from Dad. Thank goodness for Bobby or there’s no telling where we may have ended up.” Dean laughed at the absurdity of the situation he now found himself. “How is it that a man that wasn’t related to us could care for us more than our own parents ever could?”

Mary breathed heavily as she listened to every word that Dean hollered at her. “And I appreciate that, Dean, but I’m here now. I want to try with Sam. I want to start over and care for him in a way I never could, if he’ll let me because you won’t.”

“Sam doesn’t even remember who you are,” Dean gasped, hands hovering over his ears and fingers flexing in frustration. Why couldn’t she understand what he was trying to say?!

Mary narrowed her eyes. “I’m his mother!”

“You were my mother too!”

Dean’s voice broke and his bravado began to crumble. Tears jumped into his eyes and he was quick to wipe them away with the back of his hand. He would be damned if Mary knew how much it broke him to have this fight with her. Dean had spent his entire life wishing she was there and idolizing her because of the memory he had. It would’ve been really nice if someone would’ve been able to show Dean the future. It would’ve saved him a hell of a lot of heartbreak. 

With a grunt, Dean pulled at his chin in frustration. “You know what? I’m done.” Sam’s head snapped up in surprise at Dean’s declaration. “Yeah, I’m done with the hunting, the protecting, and the bullshit. You two do what you want. I’m done.”

Dean reached forward to grab his keys and jacket off the end of the table and walked from the room. He trudged up the bunker’s stairs two at a time and rushed down the long hallway that lead outside. He headed out into the open with a crisp breeze whipping against his face. It stung at his eyes and gave Dean an excuse for why his eyes were watering. It was easier to justify than because he had just gotten out of a fight with the women that he once thought of as his Mother. Now, he couldn’t care less. He wanted to say that he hated her, but he felt utter indifference better described what he was feeling.

Soft footsteps behind Dean had him bristling in rage. “I don’t need a lecture on how I should’ve been nicer to her, Sammy. She fucking deserved it and I meant ever word!”

It wasn’t until Dean spun around and caught the hopeless deer in the headlights look from piercing blue eyes that he realized it wasn’t Sam standing before him.

“Oh, Cas, it’s you.”

Castiel dipped his head slowly. “Yes, it is me. Were you expecting someone else?”

With a heavy grunt, Dean forced his right palm against both eyes in turn. “No, not really. I was actually hoping that I was alone.”

“I could leave,” he offered quickly, not wanting to intrude.

Dean reached out a hand and rested it heavily on Castiel’s shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. “No, no, please don’t. I may have wanted to be alone, but I’ll take your company. Hell, it’s probably the only company I could tolerate right now.”

Castiel wasn’t sure if Dean was attempting humor or not. He decided to take the offer as genuine. “I heard what happened with your Mother.”

“Yeah, that was a nuke dropped on us,” Dean huffed.

“A nuke?”

“Figuratively. Anyway, what are you doing here? You need something?” Dean was so used to people only seeking him and Sam out for help that it was a more common greeting than ‘hello’ these days.

Castiel tilted his head a fraction of an inch, eyebrows hunched together while he studied Dean. “I did come here for something. I came for you. I thought you may need....a friend.”

“A friend, huh?” Dean finally pulled his hand from Castiel’s shoulder now that he was sure that angel wasn’t about to go AWOL on him. “Yeah, I suppose I could use one of those.”

Castiel nodded respectfully. “Would you like to talk about what happened?”

“Not really. She’s back after all these years.”

“And that makes you angry.”

“Yeah, Cas, it does. She just waltzes back in like nothing happened and I’m supposed to pretend that she didn’t abandon us. I have to ignore the fact that I was the one to raise Sam with barely any help from my father? I can’t get those years back. I had the chance to be something other than a hunter and go to school like Sam did,” Dean rambled.

“I believed that you never enjoyed school.”

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting back every impulse to snap at Castiel. It wasn’t the angel’s fault he was being dropped into Winchester drama like stones in a river, sinking to the depths at the height of the current. “Things may have been different if I wasn’t expected to be a parent to Sam. I needed to do what I could to help him live his life. Mine was always secondary.”

“And what about now?”

“It’s a little late for change, Cas. I can’t forget what happened. I just can’t.” Dean gave his head a small shake. “And no one can expect that of me, can they?”

Castiel leaned forward in an attempt to force Dean to meet his gaze. “I would never ask that of you, Dean. I just want to know if there’s anything that I can do to make it better?”

“Walk with me?”

It seemed to simple. However, Castiel couldn’t remember the last time that Dean and him had been able to hang out with all the shit going on in their lives. There just never seemed to be a good time for talking and relaxing. These weren’t the ideal circumstances, but it was better than nothing.

“I would love to, Dean,” Castiel murmured softly.

Dean flicked his head to the side, inviting Castiel to join him. The two began to walk side by side with the first rays of sunset illuminating their path. Their shadows stretched behind them as they disappeared into respectful and comfortable silence like two friends on an impossibly long road trip. Sometimes just being was enough for the two of them.

All Dean knew was that he would get through anything with Castiel and Sam at his side. He had finally found his family, even if that didn’t include Mary and John. There may be a time when Dean could find it in his heart to forgive and understand why they did what they did. Until that point he would allow himself the distance. He had those that cared and understood him. He would lean on them now and always.

Dean could still recall the saying that always stuck with him from Bobby.

‘Family don’t end in blood.’

Dean gave a small smile. ‘You couldn’t be more right, Bobby.’ He stole a quick glance to Castiel before looking around the landscape in front of them before the angel could tell that he was staring. ‘You couldn’t be more right.’

**Author's Note:**

> I know that this isn’t how Mary came back and everything, but I like the idea of Dean letting her know all the crap he went through. I always thought this scene from the earlier season of Shameless was so well done. I hope you guys enjoyed this and are staying safe and healthy!


End file.
